Rarely a day goes by that we do not hear someone called a hero for an amazing act disinterested and benevolent.
Although praise is probably deserved, there are countless unsung heroes in our societies that are often overlooked. Some of these include our champions unpaid caregivers :. Ordinary people performing heroic acts everyday to extraordinary ones they love
Home caregivers rarely seek recognition or reward for their efforts. They go to incredible lengths to improve the lives of others ?? often to the detriment of their own health.
Despite the good deeds performed by these wonderful fathers, son, mothers, daughters, brothers and sisters, they are sometimes plagued by guilt. It is incredible to believe, is not it?
I never knew that until I became a caregiver.
My journey began when care doctors diagnosed my husband, Brian, with pleural mesothelioma. His prognosis: Less than nine months. It was shortly after that I felt my first guilt.
Feelings of guilt Point area
He started at a Brian conversation I had with a friend who was visiting.
Out of the blue, our friend said something funny, and without thinking, I started to laugh. I felt guilty almost immediately and clamped my mouth shut. It did not feel right for me to laugh when Brian was dying.
As I struggled with my guilt, Brian laughed his head. Ironically, it does not bother me. His pleasure made me happy, and her laugh was the sweetest sound in the world.
During the two years before the death of Brian, there were a number of occasions when I felt guilty of something that I thought, said or done. Most of the time, it was triggered by thoughts of my own well-being, expressing happiness or hope that the suffering of Brian could come to an end.
Although I did not know I was not the only caregiver who felt that way. The family Caregiver Alliance shows that it is common for caregivers to feel guilty, and most of the time it is quite undeserved.
Blaming your good health
Witnessing physical decline of a loved one is heartbreaking and can make the caregiver feel guilty about their good health and physical strength.
Some caregivers may cease to participate in outdoor activities and sports as a way to sympathize with the slower pace of their relative.
Although these feelings are understandable, nobody should feel guilty about taking care of themselves. The American Heart Association shows regular exercise is very important for our overall health and helps to prevent heart disease.
If sports or exercising at the gym is possible, 30 minutes walk to breathe fresh air every day can be beneficial to our physical and emotional health.
during my care journey, I tried also remains active as possible and removed my guilt by recognizing the importance of my health. Without it, take care of Brian would have been impossible.
Viewing Pleasure
Know what to say or how to act around someone who is terminally ill can be extremely difficult at times. This can result in caregivers feel guilty about showing signs of joy.
I felt when I caregiving for Brian. I understand, though, that I felt guilty laughing in his presence. Despite his prognosis, Brian refused feeling miserable all the time and did not feel hopeless either.
In reflection, Brian would have felt guilty sadness her illness had caused me. This is the last thing I would have liked.
Thinking back to the day I was laughing spontaneously, I wish I would have laughed with him, instead of quickly shut my mouth. I know a good therapy now it would have been for both of us.
Thinking death of the beloved is the best solution
Nobody wants to see a loved one suffer, especially if their disease has no treatment and their state of deterioration, it is impossible for them to enjoy any aspect of their life.
think that death is the only way to end the suffering of their relatives can make the caregiver feel intense feelings of guilt.
After the second year of fighting mesothelioma, Brian became bedridden. I hated to see it that way and wanted his suffering to end.
I understood that it was possible that by his death, but still caused me great guilt.
No One Is Perfect
Although nobody ever said that caregivers must be perfect, many caregivers aspire to achieve a level of perfection. This often leads to set unrealistic personal goals that lead to feelings of guilt when they learn these benchmarks are unattainable.
Time is precious when a loved one is terminally ill, and it is important to spend time together as much love as possible. The physical burden of compassion can overwhelm the caregiver, causing them to feel exhausted and short tempered ?? ultimately impact the time they share with their families.
If you are providing care for a terminally ill loved one, do not be a martyr. Set realistic goals for yourself and ask for help when needed ?? without feeling guilty. A lighter workload will give you more time to enjoy your beloved pet one and the moments you later come to treasure.
