It is sure hard to say goodbye.
I recently traveled to northern Michigan to take a friend to relax after a long battle cancer. The trip came just six months after that I went to Michigan to say goodbye to another friend, who had also lost his battle against cancer. The two women were in their 30s, both married, and the two leave two young children. These are incredible love women who lived remarkable lives, showing kindness to others is indeed rare. And we all knew in college.
On the eve of my 36th birthday, I am left with a long list of questions ?? and much sadness.
Reflection on the life and death
When Mesothelioma is the cancer that any of us, the victim is often older. But I ?? m convinced the pain is similar. Something outside of your control has taken someone you love away from you.
The funeral and memorial services require you to think about life and death. They invite you to stop everything for a few hours, and sit with your emotions. They force you to cry ?? and cry to God, whether you believe in Him.
Mourning tends to put everything into perspective.
On my recent trip, I was humiliated to admit to myself that I was worried about my makeup and clothing while preparing for service. And yet, my makeup was nothing more than a memory after only a few minutes of tears.
The clothes? I'm pretty sure ?? not one person noticed ?? and I'm happy ??. Saying goodbye has nothing to do with us and everything to do with the person who left us.
'I have always with me'
?? my husband's friend gave a eulogy in motion recent service. His wisdom and ideas can teach us all take our loved ones a little closer now, while they are still here with us. And thoughts can help us go when they left.
This is part of his eulogy. However, I omitted the name of his wife to protect their privacy:
?? [My wife] had cancer for nine of the eleven years we were married. Sometimes we went years without treatment or new cancers and we always had the hope that it would beat the next as if she were the last. She had done so many times, it seemed almost routine. But even in the best years, the idea of losing [my wife] has never been far from my mind.
?? The way I learned to deal with this disturbing thought when it appeared, was to tell me ?? You do not have to think about it now. It is here now. ?? So I keep repeating these words until I stopped feel I'm going to cry, so I find her and kiss her and hold her and tell her how much I loved him. I did often: sometimes once a day, sometimes much
?? If you imagine that you will lose your lover once, it gives you perspective and appreciation of your love for them .. When you do a thousand times, when you do every day, every time you look at them, when you do it for years at a time, so that love becomes a part of you that even the thought of that person gives you this huge feeling of lightness.
?? Although she is gone, [my wife’s] love is a warm, luminous ball of burning light in the center of me that can never be extinguished. Even if I do not have it now, even if I can not touch her and kiss her and kiss her, I can feel his warm embrace around the center of me, I can feel her soft kisses as flashes of light from inside me. This way, I have him with me always.??
Moving your bereavement
His words helped me to recognize that the spirit of my friend ?? s goodness and love will stay with us forever, and we can keep his memory alive by showing kindness and love for others.
If you still have your loved one with you here, I hope you hug them a little tighter today and tell them how much you love ?? more and more and more.
But if your loved one has passed, I hope my words ?? s friend will help you heal and recognize that your loved one ?? s heat will live inside you forever ?? never to be extinguished.
In memory of two dear friends magnet.
