After a diagnosis of mesothelioma or any form of cancer, many people start a battle changing living with the disease.
Some people may find themselves embattled if they can run out of time and energy to do the things they once enjoyed. My father, Richard Barker, was diagnosed with mesothelioma in the fall of 1992. A few months after chemotherapy
treatment, he could not perform his usual maintenance work from home or tend the court.
I was 14 at the time, and the only one available to take over some of its functions. That's when he trained me to be my own person.
Learn About his mesothelioma diagnosis
Doctors diagnosed my father with mesothelioma at age 44. After his diagnosis, he knew he did not have long to live .
he had so much life left to do, but he learned that he could do the things he had left hanging by life through me. He wanted to teach me all fathers teach their children ?? - And I'm ready to learn
But I'm still a teenager and consumed with myself .. I do not know that preparing for life without him.
This man taught me how to live.
First lesson on life
Our first lesson began early on a Saturday morning in 1993.
He woke me up at dawn and asked me put on some old clothes because I would be doing yard work. Naturally, I dressed in my shorts and my cute white Keds-than-white tennis shoes. I would ?? t wanted one of my friends see me sweating in the yard and badly dressed.
I even took the time to carefully braid my hair. I had an image to maintain.
When I decorated the yard with my presence, my primping and delays were clearly irritated my father.
As I came out, Dad said ?? you know you're going to ruin these clothes, right ???
I whispered back, ?? No, I won ?? t, Dad.??
We walked away, and I was riding on the mower. He taught me how to start the mower, and screaming on the engine, told me to go ahead and start in the front yard. No two rows in the mowing did my father move from the porch. Annoyed, I killed the engine and walked to see what he wanted.
He lectured about my mowing style. It was not up to par. He proceeded to detail exactly how he wanted her shorn yard ?? with this pattern familiar checkerboard, it took so much pride in the display.
At the end of the day, I'm dirty, sweaty and hungry. He was right on my clothes, too. Clothing and white cute Keds were ruined, but Rick Barker was a good looking yard, he was proud, and so am I for the first time, I had worked hard on the court, and I was proud of the way he looked.
Learn to be proud of yourself
My father taught me much more than how to tend to the yard. He taught me ?? If your yard does ?? t look good, you don ?? t look good.??
It was one of many proverbs, he taught me to live by in the coming months. My father thought of the court as an outward expression of a house ?? s the man. He thought that if his court looked good, people see and know that someone was proud to mow.
He wanted the world to know he was proud of everything he did. He wanted her daughter to learn to take pride in everything she did, too. His lesson n ?? t also well received in the beginning that I'm sure he would have preferred, but the lesson has stayed with me for the rest of my life.
value of hard-learned lessons
At the time, I thought he just wanted the grass mowed. I just wanted to finish because I had teenage affair that needed attention. I n ?? 'T realize at the time that one day I treasure the memory of a hard lesson learned from the Master court itself.
In retrospect, I know he taught me much.
he taught me how to take care of my mother in her absence, and he taught me how to live my life. My father wanted me to prepare for life without him. It is inevitable that we will all face death.
As parents, it is our duty to prepare our children to survive without us.
My father was aware of his mortality, so he instructed me in landscaping. He was also aware of the accident during the life he gave me that day.
What he may not have been aware of the profound impact it would have on me some 22 years later. I am the daughter of my ?? s father, and you can tell that before you get my front stairs.
Melanie Ball lives in Kentucky. His father, Richard Lloyd Barker, died of mesothelioma in 1993. She is pursuing a bachelor's degree in psychology from the University of Phoenix.
