There is a saying: I find the Truth "No one understands more, someone who has been there." when my husband, Brian, was diagnosed with pleural mesothelioma, and I need someone to talk about my feelings.
I was on an emotional roller coaster, with the thought of the death of Brian always in my mind. Sometimes I felt like I was dying with him. My love for our three children was the only force that kept me from wanting it was true.
Although family and friends urged me to contact if I need support, I hesitate to call them when I felt weak. None had had a terminal illness of a close, and I knew that despite their good intentions, it was impossible for them to understand what I was living.
Despite my feelings, I put a brave face for the sake of Brian and tried to be everything he needed: wife, nurse, savior. But the time came when I had to accept that I could never be his savior. There was nothing I could do to save his life.
Thoughts of death of Brian and his journey to it terrified me. I thought it could happen at any time, and worried about my ability to cope with the wave of pain rushing towards me. I desperately needed someone to talk about my fears, someone who could understand. I knew it could only be someone who had walked in my shoes. The problem was that I did not know who it could be.
A Friend in My Time of Need
Reflecting on my situation one day, I thought suddenly of Barbara. She led the local post office with her husband, Les, who received a lung cancer diagnosis terminal a few months before. Though she and I were only passing knowledge, I hoped she would talk about her experience of care and how she was coping with her grief.
When I stopped by the post office one day, I told him about Brian diagnosis. After offering his sympathy, she immediately asked to see her whenever I need to talk. His words were exactly what I wanted to hear, and I clung to them as if they were a life raft.
We met later this week and, for the first time since the diagnosis of Brian, I'm able to put a voice to the depth of my pain and fear. Knowing Barbara heard my trouble I brought relief beyond measure.
Later she spoke of her emotional pain, and I've realized that I helped him as much as it helped me.
In the coming months, Barbara and I met several times. We talked about everything and everything about the diseases of our husbands, including their medications, side effects and therapies. While our husbands were different types of cancer, their treatment was the same.
In fact, the husband of Barbara also suffered some of the same symptoms as Brian and had been for some time. I felt relieved to hear that, because it kept me from worrying that each new symptom known Brian was an indication of his impending death.
Talking about the death of Brian was painful, but it helped me to accept that it was going to happen. When I mentioned to Barbara, she told me she felt the same. We were grateful for the support we have given each other.
Moving Forward Together
When husband of Barbara passed away, my heart ached for her loss and loss that I would experience in the pas- too distant future. Now that her husband was dead, I did not know if Barbara would be there to help me through it. She mentioned that following the death of her husband, she and her son could move closer to his family.
Fortunately, Barbara did not leave town. She was even able to help me ?? a completely different way.
A few weeks after the funeral of her husband, Barbara returned to work at the post office. I had not expected this and was surprised to see its functioning so well, going about his business and interact with customers as she had always done.
After all that we had lived together, see Barbara as has had a profound impact on me. I understood the depth of his pain and I knew it was not easy for her to continue to work without the.
When we met again, she told me everything about the funeral of her husband and how she managed to wear according to his wishes, even opening a can of beer and to greet him at his grave.
she also said that she and her young son were planning a trip to Las Vegas ?? a place where she and her husband had always wanted to visit. His courage and determination to continue with life, despite her grief, inspired me. I decided that if she could do it, could I.
This was the moment I knew I would survive.
