I still remember the emotional breakdown of my husband ?? s when he got the call that his father was diagnosed with terminal cancer.
was given my brother-father only six months to live, and the doctor was almost spot-on with this prediction.
for mesothelioma patients, the prognosis is almost as dark. The average life expectancy after diagnosis is 12 to 21 months.
parents My husband ?? s have rejected the news that the time was short.
?? We will fight, ?? they declared vehemently.
The family jumped on board and died notion was never mentioned again.
We closed our eyes to my father-in-law ?? s extreme weight loss and appetite. When he became bedridden, terrible thoughts that have come to anyone's mind ?? were rejected and never be spoken aloud. It was almost as if we believed that the talk would lead them to occur.
About two weeks before his death, the oncologist finally conceded defeat and said he could not do more.
As realistic and right ?? and someone not emotionally involved ?? I thought now would be the time to shift gears and start preparing for the inevitable loss.
Weren ?? Are there things that needs to be said? No.
My mother-in-law, who had previously rejected any alternative therapy, was suddenly willing to travel to Texas with her husband and seek care in an alternative acclaimed cancer center.
Unfortunately, they abandoned those plans when it became clear that it was simply too late. He was dying.
He died two weeks later.
When Goodbyes Aren ?? Spoken t
It amazed me when my mother-in-law later expressed sadness about never say goodbye to her husband.
as a couple, they never faced the possibility or the fact that he was dying, despite clear diagnosis ?? s doctor and steady decline in his health afterwards.
because of their inability to face reality, neither spoke sweet words, it looks to a loved one at the approach of death.
Don ?? t get me wrong. I fully agree with the fight against the disease. I overturn every stone to find a cure for a loved one is terminally ill.
After all, the area of medical progress every day, and people sometimes surprise the doctors, survive life expectancy predictions and beat the odds.
But as I said, I ?? my realistic.
Facing death and talk about his imminent possibility will soon.
Although people react differently to the same disease and medications, physicians base their predictions on the life expectancy of solid case studies of probabilities and the health of the person ?? s.
acceptance opens the door to discussion
There ?? s important to remember that death is an inevitable part of life.
most of us don ?? t choose when and how to die. It just happens. Sometimes it happens earlier, more tragically and unnecessarily as in the case of mesothelioma.
Isn ?? Does a blessing to know in advance so we can tell our loved ones how much they mean to us?
My mother-in-law surprised me even when she knew she was dying, but never said goodbye and expressed his love for his children. She said to my husband, but it ended there. Neither said anything more.
There ?? is almost as if the taboo it ?? in our culture to talk openly about death to a terminally ill loved one.
Tips for Starting a conversation about Death
Here are some ways to start a conversation without sounding so dark
- ?? The doctor said [you or I] won ?? t ever get well. If that ?? If there are some things I want to say ????
- We never talk a lot about how we feel, but with the possibility that we are separated, I need to express some things ????
- ?? I pray and believe that [you or I] will get better, but if it n ?? go? t this way, I mean what we mean to each other? ???
- ?? I ?? m will never stop fighting for life, but in the midst of these difficult times, I have to tell you what you mean to me ????
Consider these other things you can do:
- Take the opportunity to share photos and memories and joy of life that you had set up 'at that time
- If. you're a terminally ill parent to spend time alone with each child to express your love for him. Share memories of their childhood, and tell them about their strengths and what makes them special. Gives a blessing on them for their future. Give them words to carry them out when they can not come to you for wisdom, guidance and advice.
- If saying these things is annoying to you, write them or ask a trusted friend to write while you dictate. Then either read the letter to your loved ones or give to them.
- Making a video or voice recording with your thoughts so that your family can look after you ?? re gone.
It is understandable that we don ?? t want to say goodbye. We don ?? t want to acknowledge the possibility of a permanent separation from someone we love.
This feeling reminds me of "In Acceptance Lieth peace," a poem written by 19-century missionary Amy Carmichael, who spent his last years of life bedridden in India:
He said ?? I will accept the punishment for breaking
What God Will His son tomorrow explain.??
Then was the agitation deep within him constantly
not vain word, not vain ..
For asleep peace acceptance
be hopeful, be positive and fight, but accept that it could be the end. And please, say what should be said to those you love and cherish.
For those who remain, your words will comfort and balm that carry them through the long process of grieving and lonely.
