Everyone knew that last summer Stuart S. neared the end of his fight with malignant pleural mesothelioma, and they were preparing to the inevitable.
Stuart and his wife, Ilene, were also preparing, but for something completely different: They flew to Ft Lauderdale, to begin a 13-day cruise luxury in Italy and Germany..
Family and friends in Chicago, and even her doctors and nurses all thought the couple was crazy ?? or at least badly wrong.
But Stuart and Ilene, whose name was not granted because of privacy, it was the best thing they've ever done, become an inspiration for patients cancer everywhere.
[1945001"desgensquejeviensdedire«s'ilmeurtsurlevoyagejevaislegérer»] said Ilene seven months later. "Everybody was like 'why are you doing this? The chemo had stopped working. The cancer is spreading. But our philosophy together was we can either stay at home and wait for that to happen, or we could take a final trip together. "Their final trip
And they departed, doing what Stuart has always wanted to do :. See where his fiancee of 44 years had lived and played in his younger days, to see another part of the woman he loved
Ilene went to college there in 1960 ?? and enjoyed every minute ?? eventually returning to the US when she ran out of money. She met Stuart, who was six years older, downtown Chicago, asking him a ride that never ended.
"I am the wild. Miniskirt, long hair, boots to the knee. These are the 60, "she said with a laugh." It was more square nerd you could ever imagine. [It’s] funny how we came and stayed in love. Our trip, and everything we did, brought back memories. "
They saw Rome and its former splendor, the Pantheon and the famous Colosseum. They visited the Sistine Chapel. They took trains Florence and Verona. They visited the Amalfi coast. They looked at the tower of Pisa.
They held hands in a gondola. They laughed and cried and relive their lives, the two boys were raised and three grandchildren they loved so much.
Although Stuart was dying, he found the energy in the trip, surprise while walking towers, push himself past the limit. This was not the time to rest. the clock was ticking.
They went to Stuttgart, Germany, to see the cemetery where her grandfather was buried. They visited a country fair, where he rode a Ferris wheel for the first time in his life, overcome his fear of heights hugging his wife with all his might.
They felt the years melt.
Coming Home happy but exhausted
They stole home on the 14th day. By then, he was completely exhausted. Strapping once 0 pound man now weighs less than 0 pounds. Two days later, Stuart was taken unconscious to the emergency room nearby, where he was revived and moved into a hospice.
A week later, he was sitting with his eldest son to watch TV, delighted to attend his beloved Chicago Blackhawks win another Stanley Cup with a dramatic Game 6 victory.
he beamed.
"Then he turned to me and said, 'Are you OK with that? "When I said yes, I was, he said," So I'm going to sleep now, "he closed his eyes, and that's the last we ever talked," said Ilene.. "He was in a coma and then two weeks before his death."
He was 72.
Remember who is driving the bus
While dealing with the loss of her husband has not been easy, Ilene was supported by the way they handled their last months together, willing to share what she has learned with others.
"one of the slogans we had was' Who's driving this bus? Cancer or you?" She said at her home outside Chicago. "We tried to be the driver. We chose passengers along the way; passengers who could help us through it. If you let the cancer drive the bus, you're gone half way to start. "
Their experience with other types of cancer had taught them to never give in and never lose hope, never let the future prevents them from enjoying
Stuart survived pancreatic cancer a decade before, relying heavily on the belief of Ilene in ancient Eastern medicine to complement traditional care he received .
he was diagnosed with salivary cancer ago today. five years and needed aggressive surgery that removed part of his face and part of the ear, but never dampened his mind for long. Ilene causes.
Helping others always
He joined Imerman Angels, an international support group of cancer survivors as heavy pairs with newly diagnosed patients who need emotional support. Stuart advised and befriended dozens of cancer patients throughout the country and the world. He has taught many to live with the disease. He was concerned about the new friends he made there that never worried himself.
"We lived every day like it was our next day. Not our last day, not trying to push all in one, but we knew that tomorrow would be another day," she said. "We never ceased to live. You should not look mesothelioma as a death sentence. Your life will be as long as you do it. Do not stay home and worry about it. Worrying makes just shorter life. "
It took 18 months after his diagnosis of mesothelioma. Exposure to asbestos decades before was the cause of the disease. It was never a candidate for potentially curative surgery because it had spread too far before it was discovered.
The chemotherapy did not prevent cancer or its spirit. He continued to help others. He continued to fix things around the house, tinkering with cars and watching his Chicago White Sox. They traveled a lot.
Stuart celebrated his 72th birthday surrounded by his family during his first week in a hospice. There were cakes, cookies and chocolate eclairs favorite.
"He ate all day," said Ilene. "He loved it all, and he never ceased to live. He loved this cruise, too. He taught people that life has not been sitting in a waiting area. He did everything he wanted to do, and then it was done. "
