My role in my marriage to Brian changed when doctors diagnosed him with mesothelioma.
Believing that I could no longer rely on his strength to protect myself, I became incredibly protective of him. I find it hard to concentrate on something other than her illness and what I could do to prevent suffering anything.
Although I kept her pain under control, through learning management of pain on the web, he continued to make strenuous activities around the house and garden. This concerns me, especially when he developed pleural effusion complicating breathing.
The doctor Brian ?? conducted a fine needle aspiration and relieved his symptoms. But I am worried about him and often rushed to relieve him from lifting, pushing or pulling anything I thought was too much for him to handle.
I began also keep an eye on him when he worked in the garden. Sometimes I took the shovel when we needed to dig
On such an occasion, Brian took force the shovel from my hands and said: ".. I'm perfectly capable of doing things for myself "
His sudden and angry tone shocked me. I did not understand why he felt that way when I'm just trying to help.
Later that day, I talked to Brian about the incident garden and asked why it angered him. His answer took me by surprise.
"I'm not angry against you," he said. "I am angry against the situation. I know I'm not as strong as I used to be, but I will not stand idly by. I do not like feeling helpless. "
The terms of My Nature Overprotective
I came to understand that my overprotection had removed the things that made Brian's life feel normal and useful. It was to be the judge of that he could and could not do. it was my duty to give him a hand when he felt the need, not when I thought he needed.
But it does has not been easy to step back when Brian insisted on doing everything himself.
there were many occasions when he overexerted and felt pain despite medication for his pain. it overturns always me because I knew it would take some time for additional drug he needed to bring his pain under control.
growing concern about Brian's breathing
Like Brian ?? disease progressed, he began to experience pleural effusions more frequently. When they became debilitating, his doctor recommended that he should undergo pleurodesis.
Doctors told Brian that before performing the procedure, there should be little or no remaining fluid in the pleural cavity.
They inserted a drainage tube attached to a large glass vessel in his chest. As the liquid has entered the container, physicians monitored levels. They hoped that the flow would cease for the period of time required to perform pleurodesis in the coming days.
Unfortunately, this has not occurred.
When the fluid continued to flow regularly Brian chest in the container, his doctor said it was impossible for him to have the operation.
The news came as a huge disappointment to Brian. He had been looking forward to saying goodbye to his pleural effusion and dyspnea debilitating they caused.
An Uncomfortable solution
Fortunately, his doctor gave him something to prevent dyspnea happening again ?? a permanent drainage device.
The device consisted of a catheter inserted under the chest of Brian ?? and a fluid collection bag with two-way valves. A valve allowed the flow of fluid in the bag, while the other leaves Brian empty the bag if necessary.
It took Brian a while to get used to permanent tube in his chest, but it was the sight of the collection of fluid in the sac that bothered him, especially in public.
to alleviate her anxiety, I fashioned a black material bag with Velcro buttons attached to each side to hide the bag. It could be fixed around the waist of Brian ?? and covered by his shirt. He was delighted with my invention and was soon continued his life as if the tube in his chest and the fluid bag did not exist.
Brian always wore the bag pouch around his waist in public. When it was just us two, he usually carried in his hand and jump down on the seat next to him, even when we went to our car.
Letting Go Is Hard
I remember that we were led to our favorite fishing place and once the pocket on the seat between us. When we arrived, Brian jumped out of the car without thinking of the pocket, and tube caught on the gear lever.
completely unaware of this, Brian was going to step away from the car.
I immediately told him to stay still because I feared the other end of the tube out of his chest. I released the shift of the tube and we avoided a painful situation.
This incident once again raised my concerns with Brian injury if left unattended, but I am not a big deal of it. If I had, Brian can feel powerless again. That's the last thing I would have liked.
Despite this minor issue, we had a great time fishing that day. We even had a good laugh on the bag and the gear lever. I loved to hear Brian laugh. His sense of humor was undoubtedly a blessing for both of us.
He was once the overprotect is handy.
