Yes, you read that right.
If you have recently lost a loved one to mesothelioma, I bet you have reacted the same way I did when my husband and I pulled into the golf club to attend the memorial service my brother there two months.
The capital slapped me in the face with the words "Celebrating Life :. Bruce R. Clark" It hit me like a ton of bricks. Celebrate was the last thing I felt like doing that day.
My brother Bruce had just turned 60. Ten days after his birthday, he died unexpectedly in his sleep after a challenging day of golf 18 holes.
This "celebration" was like the happy birthday party we held for him a week before, where we in fact celebrated in a way that makes sense.
celebration memorial service n 't make sense to me - first of
Sharing memories
The people kept coming and coming, many, I do not know no .. I did not recognize some of our childhood until they told me their names. Person after person came to the microphone to share a memory or story about Bruce.
Maybe you've experienced this too.
He was really a celebration. In our sadness, there was a satisfaction that his life had counted for more than his family.
But life goes on, and mourning sets. This is the time to follow the celebration.
find ways to celebrate Loved Ones Lost
I looked the word "celebration" in the dictionary to help my family to find unique ways to celebrate the life of my brother. Some words in the expanded definition stood me:
- Remember
- Observer
- Keep
- memorialize
- commemorate
- Mark
- Honor
the day after Bruce died, my three sisters went to her favorite restaurant and bought pink T-shirts with the restaurant logo for themselves and me. Even though we live in different places, we bring together different days for you remember him.
Whenever one of us see a red cardinal bird he admired, we observe think and brother we loved so much.
My father comes from a generation where men have learned to bury their feelings. Sharing stories about the childhood of his son comforts him and helps keep living memories of Bruce. He often shares how a trip to the chaotic drive through Chicago, a Bruce 12 years sailed the family with its roadmap.
I bet you have too many similar stories.
Because Bruce loved her garage and so spent a lot of time there, my younger brother copied a picture of Bruce and hung it in his own garage immortalize him.
At the birthday party of Bruce, we played a snap all her favorite things. We learned the rhino was his favorite animal. After his death, I gave each of his three children a gold rhino figurine remember his love for the strange beast. What were your favorite things close?
anniversary Bruce was April 8. I know that we will forever mark that day to remember him and all he meant to us. When it comes next year, maybe we'll plan something special. You could do the same for the birthday of your beloved.
It's funny how we tend to focus on things from a living person who could hinder us. For example, when Bruce was not at all our family events, we sometimes resented. But those thoughts evaporated the day he died. We now honor him with continuous conversation on easy and soft spoken way he was, and how we never saw him angry.
We often celebrate, and he remains close in thoughts of his wife, three children, parents and six siblings.
I'm sure you feel the same.
When it comes to Grief, Silence Is Not Golden
Although I am certainly not an expert on grief, I learned a lot in my short trip two months.
- not to bury your feelings.
- Cry often. Let it out!
- Call a family member or friend who shares your pain when you need to talk with someone.
- Ask mourning family and friends how they do. When you have a good day, they might have a bad one.
- There will be good days and bad days. Accept them all.
- When friends ask how you are doing, say honestly. Give people the opportunity to comfort you.
- Remember that people will not always say the right thing, but they mean well.
- Do not feel obliged to go to social gatherings until you are ready. It's hard to watch people going on with their lives when you are grieving. Save yourself from it as long as you need.
- Have what-ifs is a normal part of grieving. Your mind to go naturally, but it will eventually stop.
- Tell loved ones you lost whenever you want. Share all the things you liked about them and feel the blessing of their presence in your life.
- Finally, keep them celebrate!
Grief is not an easy process, and it may take some time for you to deal with your emotions. If you have lost a loved one to mesothelioma, it can help to see a grief counselor or join a support group.
The non-profit organizations such as CancerCare can connect with these resources and provide information on how to cope with your loss in a healthy way. If you need support, do not hesitate to talk to and ask for help.
