Regarding sibling relationship, he could not be as close as that between my husband, Brian, and his sister Pat. Two-year age difference, they were inseparable as children and maintained their close relationship as adults.
Pat and Brian were best friends who shared the happy and sad moments in their lives, celebrate weddings each other, rejoicing the birth of their children and mourning the death of their parents.
When Brian was diagnosed with pleural mesothelioma and given less than a year to live, Pat was devastated. After sharing everyone's life for 52 years, she and Brian would once again mourn together. But this time it was for the impending death of Brian and the end of their beautiful relationship.
Despite her own grief, Pat was there to support Brian and me in any way she could. She was the pillar of strength we both came to support.
Treaty Normally Him
Regardless of their diagnosis of mesothelioma, Brian wanted to act and feel "normal." Knowing his brother better than anyone, Pat realized this and continued to act in exactly the same way about him, as she had always done. Sharing the same easygoing banter, they were used to, she amused with anecdotes about his grandchildren or the latest gossip of the neighborhood.
Always keep their light conversation, she would never talk about his illness unless he instigated it. If he wanted to talk, she was there to listen.
we Offered Transport
About a year after the diagnosis of Brian, he and I had to move from the coastal town of Exmouth, as far north Western Australia, Perth so he can start chemotherapy treatment.
After living in the country for many years, neither Brian nor I felt confident driving in the city. Pat's offer of transport was a huge relief. Every time Brian had a doctor's appointment or was due to chemotherapy treatment, she was always available to take us to the hospital. Rather than leaving us there to be picked up at the end of treatment to Brian, she stayed with us and his loving presence was a comfort to us.
Enjoy the outdoor
Despite the terminal nature of the disease Brian, I determined that it would not be stuck inside of our house waiting for worst to happen. When he finished counting on a bottle in wheelchairs and oxygen to move, Pat was there to help me and to him the equipment he needed in and out of the car maneuver. She used to driving.
One of our favorite places to go was a beautiful rose garden nursery who also served tea, coffee and a selection of delicacies. Although Brian could not take part in these pleasures, he loved to watch the rose gardens and learn to choose the type of roses we buy. When we arrived home, he told me exactly where he wanted planted.
Pat and I took Brian many places in the last months of his life, including movies and Aquarium of Western Australia in Perth. He could roll his wheelchair on a ramp moving below the aquarium and watch the huge variety of fish swimming above him.
Realizing his love for the ocean, we have often taken to the beach where he could view the waves and feel the spray of cool ocean on his cheeks. It never failed to please him. His smile was like gold to Pat and me.
My pillar of strength
Living in expectation of mesothelioma Brian's death was the cruelest torture. As I released a lot of tension in my journal writing, there were times when I had to talk to another human about my anguish. Someone who loved me and was able to understand what I was living.
I find this person in the patent because it was so often in my business. She came to see the true depth of my pain and there were many times when she held me in his arms and spoke softly to me while I cried. Sometimes his grief came to the forefront and we cry together.
Pat and I grew incredibly close to each other during the two years of Brian's disease and could talk about everything, including his approaching death. I could not do this with another family member, and it was a huge relief to put voice my concerns.
Pat also told me about what I could do after Brian died. Although I could not imagine what it could be both, I realized she was trying to give me something to hang, and I appreciated his wisdom.
One day shortly before Brian died, he took hold of my hand and Pat we were next to his bed, and those placed on each other. He then placed his hands on top of our clasped hands and held firmly together.
Although he was unable to speak, his eyes never left us. We knew we were told to take care of each other.
When he died, it was Pat who helped me shave and dress for his last journey. She was a loving sister to finish.
While I live, I will be grateful for this very special woman who loved her brother to death and helped me cope with my pain more she could imagine.
