When my father was diagnosed with mesothelioma, I was too young to remember all the details. It was a chaotic time in my life, and everyone's emotions were running wild. I was 14, and I did not understand the whirlwind of feelings swirling around my family.
I remember my parents sat at our dining room table and tell me about the diagnosis of my father. At the time, I really have no questions because I did not know what I should ask.
It seemed like everything just happened so fast. Once he got the diagnosis, my mother took care of him, and I took care of household chores. Maybe if we had been a little more organized and held a family reunion, things would have been a little easier for us.
If we had brought all our family members and potential caregivers, we could build a better support system for my father. We had a lot of caring people who could have helped in small ways to make a huge impact.
Advantages of support after a diagnosis of mesothelioma
It is difficult when a loved one receives a serious diagnosis. I really understand the restlessness and uncertainty following. For many families, the diagnosis is easier to deal with if everyone joins together to face.
It takes more than one person to take care of a person with cancer. Call a family meeting is a good way to inform your relatives about the diagnosis and involve them.
Gather everyone gives the opportunity to answer important questions, discuss future plans and build a strong support system. It can also help reduce stress for caregivers.
One of the best resources I've found the conduct of family gatherings is a guide to the Family Caregiver Alliance (FCA). Founded in 1977, the organization aims to educate and support caregivers while advocating for families.
The guide offers helpful tips and ideas about holding a family meeting. It also explains the importance of cooperation when caring for a loved one so the primary caregiver does not become overwhelmed.
Who should attend?
Anyone interested in helping care for your loved one must attend the meeting, including relatives, friends, neighbors and paid caregivers. Have different perspectives and ideas can help regarding problem solving and work through disagreements.
It may also be useful to include a social worker or other person outside the family to run meetings or help about the family about difficult subjects.
You will have to make a decision as to whether your one with cancer should attend each meeting loved. It is often useful to have the person you care for there to express ideas, desires and concerns, but it can be difficult for everyone to be open and honest when he or she is present.
If the decision is not to include the person with cancer, be sure to keep him or her updated at each meeting and all important decisions you make.
gather everyone
If your family is anything like mine, it's hard to get everyone in the same place at the same time. FCA suggests that you should make reasonable accommodations for individuals, but always keep the needs of your loved one in mind.
Time is of the essence when you make plans to provide care to a family member. If people can not attend, you can still make a phone call or send an e-mail after to keep them in the loop.
Sometimes it is easier for distant friends and family members to attend the meeting over the phone or video chat group. Include as many people as possible, but not to delay the meeting because someone is unable to attend.
Topics to Address
The FCA guide explains that it is important for caregivers to plan family gatherings in advance. Pre-plan what will be covered in the meeting with an agenda.
The establishment of an agenda in advance helps members maintain focus throughout the meeting and ensure that group addresses all important issues. Another organization will also help everyone feel as if they have contributed equally and made their voices heard.
The agenda of your meeting is likely to be as unique as your family. Topics to be covered will vary depending on the diagnosis of your loved one and the current situation
Some important topics you might want to address include :.
- Overview of diagnosis
- Latest Report doctors
- Current prognosis
- Treatment objectives
- daily care needs
- Ways everyone can help
- financial concerns
Keep in mind that you should not solve everything in one meeting. In fact, it may be a good idea to schedule regular meetings to share health updates and discuss new issues or needs that may arise.
Potential problems
Faced with a difficult diagnosis sometimes brings the worst in families, and it is easy to take to another during this period. If you are worried about what is happening, you should consider bringing a third party to facilitate meetings.
The initial family reunion is not the time to air dirty laundry or settle scores. All families have problems and not everyone will get along.
It helps to keep things in perspective. The reason you are all there to support a loved one. If necessary, you can solve the problems of the family at a later date. Keep focused and professional meeting so that your family care delivery goals can be accomplished.
It is your duty as a caregiver to swallow your pride and do whatever it takes to get along for a while. The last thing a mesothelioma patient should worry about is the family quarrels slander. . Your loved one needs to focus on health and wellness, and caregivers can help maintain this orientation
This particular family reunion is a time for family and friends to put aside their problems and join forces towards a common goal: to provide the best care for someone you all love.
