I have difficult people in my life, and I have a feeling I ?? am not the only one. Family members who call too often, friends who want to see you more often than you want their colleagues that leave you dreaming of a new life with a new job view.
If you ?? re going with mesothelioma, it seems to me that this reality can create even more chaos in your life. Maybe your in-laws take care of yourself that you feel like you ?? t breathe. Perhaps an overbearing neighbor always seems to be knocking on your door. Or maybe you are just having a bad week. Even overprotective staff and medical providers can get on your last nerve sometimes.
I ?? have always had difficult people in my life. Some - like family members - bring issues year after year, creating a horrible cycle of madness. It seems that every holiday yet creates another difficulty period. Other people are with me just for a short time, but still leaves me feeling exasperated.
Over the past two months, I ?? I learned some important lessons on how to work even with these people in my life. I hope that the lessons I ?? learned will help you as you journey forward.
Take a step back
thereAbout six weeks, I was at my wits ?? end with a few family members. I could not ?? stop thinking about the madness - too many phone calls, emails, too many, too many text messages. I needed a solution, and I had an immediate
I was at lunch with a friend and mentor, and provided an even simpler solution engineering :. ?? Why not ?? t take a break from them ??? she asked. I am intrigued by the idea and asked her what she meant. She suggested that I send these family members and let them know how I felt (outdated) and tell them that I would not meet their communications as quickly as I did normally.
I went straight home, wrote an email and sent to my friend approve. In the email, I went a little further than it had suggested. I asked all communication by e-mail for a while.
Anyway that is leaving you frustrated by the relationships in your life, it may be time to take a step back. This may mean limiting communications, taking a weekend out of town, or rework your regular schedule to include some time alone.
If the setting of limits is new to you, check out the book ?? Boundaries ?? by John Townsend. It definitely changed my approach to relationships, and I think it could help you too.
Live Your Life
After sending the mail to my family, I ?? didn t hear anything (by email or any other avenue) for a few weeks. At first I miffed that they choose not to communicate at all, as I had requested was the e-mail communication. But then I realized that I had made my bed and I had to sleep.
I suddenly felt quite free to live my life as I wanted to live instead of always focusing on how my family was in communication (or not) and how they felt about my communication. I made more efforts to plan activities with my friends, and I'm looking ?? adopting a dog after losing my sweet Joey last year.
See Humility
In addition to difficult family situations, I have a colleague who left me frustrated beyond belief - and tears - many times . I finally made an appointment to see my counselor to discuss the situation. (I used to see him regularly, but now I just go when I need to.)
He had a bold solution, yet simple: Apologize and show humility. He cited Philippians 2: 3 to me ?? In humility value others above you ??. Suffice to say, I am not happy with his advice. And yet, next week, I do apologize to my colleague for failing to show it the respect it deserved my supervisor. It has done wonders for our relationship.
Then I saw a quote on Facebook which reaffirmed the wisdom of my ?? s advisor. He read: ?? Humility is the shortest distance between you and another person ??. That stopped me dead in my tracks. I knew I had to continue to show humility in the relationship with my colleague.
Reach Out When You ?? re Ready
As Memorial Day approached this year, I sent them my family (who are local) to try to see the holiday. Several days went unanswered, so I decided to send a text to follow. I ended up seeing one of them on vacation, and it was not without difficult conversations.
I do not know if or when I will feel comfortable recovery text messaging or phone calls with my family members, but I think you ?? will know it ?? s time to reach the difficult people in your life. Maybe programmed coffee or brunch as reconnection point. I find that having difficult conversations may be easier in a restaurant (and not a member of the family ?? s kitchen).
There ?? s important to remember that taking a step back does not mean do not forward again. This simply means that you need time to refresh and recharge.
I ?? Not sure how your relationships are going these days, but I'm ?? guess you have at least one difficult person in your life. Perhaps ?? s time to take a step back, live your life, be humble or reach. Be brave enough to take the next step toward a healthier future.
