When my husband, Brian, was diagnosed with pleural mesothelioma, it was silent on the other disease that it was an incurable asbestos-related cancer.
Given the life expectancy of less than a year, he was not informed of mesothelioma stages or symptoms that would be the most likely to experience disease progression .
Knowing Brian as I did, I suspect he was happy to keep it that way.
But it was different for me. I feared the unknown and decided I had to learn more about the disease that threatened the life of my husband.
Fortunately, I'm used to finding information on the Web and did some research on mesothelioma. I am not ready to believe Brian was dying of this disease and hope to find someone who was healed.
I can not find a miracle. Instead, I learned that many people worldwide have died of the incurable disease. This has dispelled any hope that I held for the survival of Brian. There are no words to describe the depth of despair I suffered because of it.
To make matters worse, I felt completely helpless. I did not know what was going to happen to Brian or I could do to help.
Reflecting on this one day, I suddenly had a thought that changed the way I felt about Brian disease and my ability to deal with it ?? I can not stop Brian from dying, but I can help him live as long as possible.??
And that's exactly what I began to do
[scheduled a meeting with Dr. Brian
I called the hospital the next day and made an appointment to visit her doctor. I had many questions that needed answers and hoped he could provide.
When I saw the doctor, I handed him my list of questions, expecting that it would begin to discuss Brian ?? but I was wrong
Instead, he turned to me and said :. ?? How are you and how do you live Brian disease ???
His question took me by surprise. Since the diagnosis of Brian, he was the only person who asked how I felt. It opened a flood of repressed emotions. I burst into tears and said terminal disease diagnosis Brian made me feel as if I die with him.
This was the first time I put a voice to my feelings, and he was strangely soothing. I started crying and could not stop. The doctor did not attempt to stem my tears. He knew it was exactly what I needed.
Doctor offers advice
When I finally managed to pull myself together, he explained my feelings came from the pain I stood on the impending death of Brian. ?? Anticipatory grief is very similar to those suffering grief when someone actually dead ?? he said.
He recommended that I seek advice and start writing my feelings in a journal as a way to cope. I promised to take her advice.
When we met again to discuss Brian, the doctor took my questions about the illness of my husband seriously. ?? Leave them with me ?? he said. ?? Make another appointment for later in the week. Until then, I will have answers for you.??
This first appointment with the doctor Brian was the beginning of many visits over the following months. Meanwhile, we have discussed many aspects of the disease of Brian, including what I could hope that his illness progressed. Reactions were painful to hear, but it took away my fear of the unknown and allowed me the time to put things in place for Brian remained comfortable and pain free.
One year after Brian was diagnosed, he needed chemotherapy. We lived in Exmouth, Western Australia, at the time. It is a small town and find a treatment, it was impossible. We were forced to move to Perth.
It was difficult to leave the doctor Brian and the support I had come to rely on. The doctor really helped us during the worst time of our lives. I will always be grateful to him for that and advice about dealing with my pain. The newspaper that I began to his suggestion quickly became my strongest coping tool.
"Knowledge is power, Is not It?
The excellent relationship that I had met with Brian doctor in Exmouth gave me the confidence to talk to her other doctors.
I kept keep me informed about mesothelioma stages, and doctors came to respect that and my determination to facilitate travel of Brian.
late in the disease of Brian, he needed a stent inserted in his throat to help him swallow. I immediately researched the types of stents available and were considered the best.
The day before the surgery Brian, I asked to speak to the doctor performing the operation and told him exactly what type of stent I wanted to use him Brian and why.
After showing some surprise at my request, he said, ?? Knowledge is power, right ???
I totally agree.
Without knowledge, I would not have gathered the confidence to talk to Brian doctors about his illness or be able to work with them in hand to ensure that it had a good quality of life.
