Thinking back to the life I share with my husband, Brian, I'm almost always the one who found a solution to any problem came along.
This was mostly because of my tenacity and the fact that by nature I am an optimist who believes that everything can be found if you really look for it, and all that can be achieved if you try hard enough.
I am also a person who will not easily give and will do anything to find a solution to a problem.
over the 32 years of my marriage to Brian, there were a number of problems that came along. The greatest optimism tested my heart ?? but with resilience and sheer determination, I am able to overcome them.
Not surprisingly, when Brian was diagnosed with mesothelioma and given three to nine months to live, I did not accept his prognosis. My record of solving problems in the past led me to believe that there must be a doctor somewhere in the world that could cure mesothelioma Brian, and all I had to do was find him.
Seeking Answers
regarding the Internet, I began an exhaustive search for anything I could find on mesothelioma. Unfortunately, my search will reward me with the solution I had hoped. Instead, I learned that there was no known cure for this terrible disease and that he would eventually take the life of Brian.
Accept that there was nothing I could do to change that, was devastating, and for the first time in my life I felt completely helpless.
Fortunately, I do not for a long time felt helpless, my tenacious nature of kicks and helped me realize that although I could not stop Brian died, I could help "to live "as long as he was granted. It was then that I put my pain and symptoms of routine for him in place.
Knowing that I could make a difference in the quality of his life has taken away my feelings of powerlessness and gave me strength.
Living in expectation of his death, however, was overwhelming, and there were times when I felt like I was drowning in my sorrow.
on the advice of my doctor, I started keeping a diary, and it was through this that I came to understand my process of voice and inner thoughts.
positive thinking
Brian Before falling ill, I had never imagined my thoughts to be anything other than constant chatter (inner conversations) in my head.
it was only when I began to write my thoughts down I became aware that I had both positive and negative inner voice.
This was a powerful revelation and has been the question of how I managed my pain anticipatory turn.
instinctively I knew that my negative (discouraged) thoughts were feelings that had to be expressed, and I made sure to write them down in my journal.
My negative thoughts (inner voice) included all the feelings I had that made me feel miserable, including anger, fear and pain.
Allow me to express and acknowledge those thoughts and feelings through my journal helped me to tune them and frees my positive thoughts (inner voice)
reading this it would be perfectly understandable for you to ask :.
How can there be positive thoughts when you are dealing with the terminal illness of a loved one?
to explain, I'll explain how our thoughts can help us cope with our emotions that we care for our loved ones.
focus on good thoughts rather than sad thoughts
Undeniably sad thoughts often come when a loved one has a terminal illness such as mesothelioma. But if we focus on these sad thoughts all the time, we can not function properly and this will make it impossible for us care about them as well as we want.
sad thoughts (negative) As also it is impossible for us to take care of ourselves.
I became aware of this when I expressed the thought that I did not want to live without Brian.
live in expectation of his death was the worst torture, and I am constantly wondering, How will I bear the pain of losing Brian? How will I find the strength to continue? Who can help me to cope with this terrible sadness?
Fortunately, there was a time when I could find an answer to these questions. And the answer was ?? that the only person who could cross me this me.
I've realized that while others might come stand next to me, he was my inner voice that would determine my actions. If I had continued to pay only my negative inner voice, I'm down so deep in depression that I have found my way.
My realization of this is captured in the following entry from my diary:
He came to me that if I did not change my mindset, I get sick. I wish to live; I owe a lot to live through my children and grandchildren. I'm still young, and I'll survive this if I allow myself. I have to start taking care of me and Brian, if I have to stay healthy.
The same day, I wrote the following words in my dairy.
I would agree ?? if I let myself.
To help me achieve, I started to change the way I wrote in my journal. Although I continued to write my sad thoughts (negative), I tried to end my notes with positive thoughts as often as I could, and I thought it always made me feel much better.
The positive notes I wrote included phrases like
I am so happy that I am able to keep Brian out of pain
I am determined to enjoy this precious time with Brian.
Thank goodness there to give me the strength to continue.
I also wrote a list of positive thoughts (affirmations) and read aloud every day
My daily affirmations are: ..
- I will be if I let myself
- I will do my best to ease the burden for Brian.
- I will do my best to stay positive for us.
- I'll do every day as peaceful and happy as I can.
- I count my blessings every day that we share together.
- I'll take care of my mind and my body and I think I have a lot of reasons to live.
- I think my immune system works hard to keep me healthy.
- I will survive and continue.
- I embrace life and live it to the maximum for the rest of my days.
there is no doubt in my mind that positive thinking helped me a lot, both during the illness of Brian and after his death.
Although I did not know it at the time, my statements were not only useful, they also proved to be prophetic (predictive).
Fortunately, I was able to ease the burden of Brian. The routine of pain and symptoms that I put in place has improved the quality of his life, and I found a lot of peace in that knowledge.
Despite the terrible anguish of losing Brian, I did survive and continue.
Knowing how precious life is and how fast it can be taken away from us, I understand all that life has to offer me with both hands, and I certainly live each day to the fullest.
Take care.
Please leave me a comment on Facebook.
