Updated: George Schöttl, one end of the line mesothelioma patients in Sweden, lost his battle against cancer on 14 January 2015. he was 46. This is the second installment of a two part series he wrote for Asbestos.com. We have the faith of his personal story can inspire hope and strength in others walk along the same road. Read Part I on treating Schöttl.
Despite my diagnosis of mesothelioma, I gained the strength to be happy. I decided to limit my emotional spectrum by temporarily blocking the low emotions such as fear, pain, anxiety and anger.
I turned to my inner self and became a survivor.
The only emotions I had wanted to keep hope and strength. While this may sound strange, I would let my hatred grow, and I would treat that hatred. I hate my intensely cancer. Hate everything about cancer. Hate everything me and my body hurt. Hatred would be my main weapon against cancer.
The rest of me would just love the world, my family and all that remained.
go online has not been good. All the information I read on the Web clearly explained that I would die soon, it was not worth fighting for my own survival. This was also the constant message of nurses and doctors. I felt like a walking dead man who was still breathing.
But they were so bad.
Turning Point
My wife Sarah and I purchased our new home, although doctors told me there had no reason to do so. I went to the hospital of the University of Lund. I participated in a clinical trial in the world, thinking that if she did not help me, it would help future patients.
I did not have high hopes at that time. But before leaving for the new hospital, tests showed some tumor on my right lung had increased, but later many of those who had fallen or clarified.
The new clinic was so different from the first, where I received my dark notifications and where fear was the dominant emotion. This hospital was bright and pleasant. Nurses and doctors smiled.
A man in charge of thoracic oncology introduced himself as Dr. R. Ohman. He talked with me for an hour, looked at the X-rays, and my liver and kidney tests. He told me something I will always remember ". It is not how long you live that matters is how you live."
His words filled me with power and renewed energy. All the stress and anxiety poured on me.
Clinical Trial
I started the clinical trial chemotherapy drug vorinostat the same week, we moved into our new home in the neighborhood of horse Flyinge. It started with a lot of tests. I had to go to the hospital every week for samples, tests and interviews.
One day my doctor informed me that the tumors had not grown more. I was surprised, almost incredulous. I started to cry. I did not know what to do, say or how to act. In the past, I had been told I was getting closer to the grave.
In 09, when my tumors had been dormant for two years, my wife asked me about the possibility of children. It was something we talked about before my diagnosis.
Now, it seemed like we started to live again. Knowing that cisplatin treatment are our chances of having children, we have taken earlier steps to save the sperm necessary if that day never came. Doctors saved me "my little soldiers" for future use.
After a long dialogue with psychologists, counselors, doctors and behavioral scientists, they agreed that we were mentally strong, healthy and ready to have children. The requirement is that you would be expected to live at least two years after the birth of the child.
A Miracle Baby
Because tumor cells were inactive, we began the process of bringing a child into the world. Nine months later, the most beautiful child was born: A wonderful girl named Freya. It was named after a goddess in Norse mythology
She was not only beautiful. she was more beautiful because it was ours. It was the promise of life, a promise for the future ?? and the promise of many dirty diapers and sleepless nights.
This is what we asked for and dreamed of, and one that we never thought would come. Today, she is four years old.
Uncertain About the Future
Instead of the initial prognosis of less than 11 months to live, was given a life expectancy of 45-72 months. I have now lived for nine years after my initial diagnosis.
Recently I had some complications of infection and continued accumulation of fluid in the lungs, but I go to the hospital every six weeks to have it drained.
We do not know how long I have, but I ask myself, "Why am I still alive? Is it my age? "
The doctors seem to think it is my will and vision of life. I refuse to go down easily. I refuse to give up my happy life. I refuse to renounce my hatred of this cancer.
I believe that the cause of my life is not only the will to power, but the mixture of happiness and serenity, to see the beautiful things in life, like rain, a storm or a sunny day . I use the word alive, and do not survive, because to survive on its own is not an option.
I Sara showing she loves me, treat me the same way as it did before I got sick. Sara and Freya are the air I breathe. They are my all. I just want to do good for them, for others, help the needy and relieve suffering.
it is they who have kept me alive, as long as can be.
George Schöttl to Gardstange, Sweden, was diagnosed with malignant pleural mesothelioma in 06 to 38 years ?? a stunning revelation for someone so young and strong. He died January 14, 2015, two days after Asbestos.com released this first person account of his journey. He was 46.
