My 83 year old mother had open-heart surgery last year to repair a leaky faucet.
One symptom of this condition is shortness of breath. I hoped the surgery would have allowed this, but she was complaining that she can not walk to the mailbox without becoming breathless. Why is it still breathless after her surgery?
She also has repeatedly said she feels excruciating back. Despite my pleas, she is reluctant to take medication every day of pain.
His play-by-play accounts of his appointment to the doctor myself frustrated because they failed to give me a clear understanding of what ?? happening with their health concerns and doctor visits.
If you have a parent or spouse with mesothelioma, you may be faced with a similar situation. You have many questions, but maybe you do ?? t feel like you ?? re getting all the answers.
And you really want to know.
The Awkwardness of Stepping In
It felt a bit like exceeding the limits when I asked my mother if I could go with her on the next visit to the doctor.
What kind of message did I send Mom?
?? You can ?? t manage this anymore.??
?? You ?? re too old to go through yourself.??
?? I can do better ??.
Because my father accompanies him to the doctor, I felt as if I declared both incompetent. In truth, however, it wasn ?? t much help.
Fortunately, they were eager and relieved to let me tag along. Mom wants answers to his problems, as much or more than me, and Dad welcomed someone else in mind.
The appointed day to see the cardiologist, our small group of three dragged the doctor? office and? followed the office assistant who shuffled around to find a seat for everyone in the tiny examination room.
doctor soon arrived and began talking directly to my mother.
Now I See the Light
I immediately saw the problem. The breakdown in communication between the doctor and my mother was overwhelming.
The doctor asked questions about his visit, but Mom seemed to continually irrelevant.
Remember, we were the cardiologist for his breathlessness. Mom had a particularly bad day with her back, she kept describing the problem.
I interrupted the conversation several times to keep things on track and ensure that we get answers to problems that the doctor was able to answer.
There was a delicate situation.
Naturally, the doctor wanted to talk to the patient, not necessarily me, but I had to constantly run my mother.
I really couldn ?? 'T imagine how that conversation would have continued if I hadn ??' t been there to arbitrate.
the ability of a doctor ?? for treating a patient is directly related to the type of information he or she receives from the patient regarding symptoms they experience. If the information isn ?? t accurate or clear how the doctor can treat effectively?
A week later, we visited another doctor for back problem, and any played again. Although this time, my father chose to stay in the waiting room.
The generation gap and talk to doctors
In my situation ?? and perhaps yours ?? if you have a parent or loved mesothelioma, age is part of the problem with the way they handle a doctor
visit.
Age may have affected their memory or maybe they are overwhelmed by not feeling well. I know my mother is sick of being sick.
I think once it finally gets his audience with the doctor, frustrations and thoughts spill at once, rather than in a linear, consistently.
But I think there is another factor at play here.
My parents grew up in a time when patients put doctors on a pedestal. If a doctor says, then it must be true. You did ask.
?? He is the physician after all ?? Mom often remember.
I do not necessarily agree.
I n ?? 'T go to medical school, but I graduated from college. I see doctors trained professionals in their field, but they are men and women like me.
If I see them, I hired to answer to my problem. They work for me. I feel free to ask them about my condition or treatment.
And I think they give me enough time when I'm there for an appointment.
In general, the old generation doesn? ? t feel that way. Maybe they could blindly follow the doctor's orders and accept situations that some younger patients can challenge.
There are many factors involved in poor Doctors response
The doctors first have the welfare of patients as their first priority, but what happens when the patient encounters these types of problems :.
- I want to ask about the different treatment options
- wait times are extended because the doctor has too many patients [
- Doctor does not allow enough time patient ask questions in the exam room.
- Doctor brushes off concerns of patients.
According to a 2015 US News & World Report, a study in the Annals of Internal Medicine found that patients were allowed to complete their list of concerns in 23 percent of doctors ?? visits. And in a more recent analysis, patients were cut with their physician after an average of only 12 seconds.
?? Over the last five to seven years, doctors have been placed in a position where they have many conflicting task priorities when they go to see patients, ?? says Nirmal Joshi, medical director of PinnaceHealth in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.
The medical staff today must take into account all the questions and answers in the electronic health records, and according to Joshi, check boxes for more than 100 measurements, patterns and health outcomes followed by national organizations.
?? doctors learn to manage their time with a very limited amount of resources and it ?? his fight, ?? he says. ?? So face-to-face time with patients, where they doctor undivided attention, has dropped.??
A struggle for all ages
What this means is that even for the most daring, visiting the doctor can pose some challenges in communication.
No wonder, for the elderly and very sick, it may be more difficult to get concerns addressed.
A diagnosis of mesothelioma guarantees many future meetings with doctors.
you can be the daughter or son whose parent has mesothelioma and you are not really sure what is going on ?? on at these meetings. You ?? re concerned that perhaps more could be done to help your mom or dad.
What can you do?
Your parents may be afraid to ask you to start to accompany them to their appointments because they do ?? t want to take your time. Take the first step and propose to go.
At first, my mother resisted for a while because she said I was too busy, but I remind him that it was never too busy to take me to the orthodontist four consecutive years.
I was always the mother of priority, and I certainly do her one of mine. Since then she thanked me several times for my involvement
Follow these simple steps to accompany your well to a visit to the doctor liked :.
- That the office staff at a doctor's office know you will treat your mother or father's medical condition so they can call you with the results of tests and appointments. This gives you another chance to ask questions, and it takes the burden of your parents.
- Have questions prepared in advance. Write them down as you think of them and let the doctor foremost you have prepared questions for him to answer.
- Let your parents respond to questions from the doctor ??, but politely intervene if you see them go off track or not to answer accurately.
- See if you can communicate with the doctor by email if you have additional questions. This saves time for you and the doctor.
- Learn about mesothelioma so that you have a good understanding of the disease when you visit the doctor with your parent. This will allow you to ask more pertinent questions and also show the doctor that you understand a little more about the disease.
I am grateful for the support My Mom
I am so glad I took the time to go to the doctor with my mother.
Our trip to the cardiologist revealed his medication was not working and needed a higher dose, but we also learned the valve repair was not working.
the new drug allows its march to the mailbox without getting out of breath, and is now under consideration for a new procedure to help the defective valve.
regarding the return issue, the rheumatologist found a previously unknown problem in his vertebrae. Treatment is expected, and a positive result is expected.
Mom is now doing better physically and mentally.
Dare I say that my involvement may have helped a little? I think I helped foster communication for answers.
You can do it too.
