There are many times when you are a caregiver it does not matter what disease, disorder or affliction your loved one. What matters is the quality of life for everyone. This means that your beloved, and he wants you to say.
It sounds so matter-of-fact. Maybe it is. But so often it is very difficult. Many times, what you know is the right thing to do is not what your loved one wants. You believe, given what doctors and other professionals say that you know that the best decisions are linked to care and daily life. And yet, your loved says ?? sometimes forcefully ?? ?? No. ??
It does not matter if you take care of a person with mesothelioma, other asbestos disease or even if you are dealing with the effects of a heart attack, stroke brain or something. This disagreement may be the starting point of an emotional roller coaster that can last for weeks, months or even years.
Mother returns home after respite
This issue happens because my frail 86 year -old mother insists on living alone and those of us around her believe that this is not the wisest situation. My sisters and I have been dealing with this since our mother left respite care and back into his own home just a few months.
Mom, who has type 2 diabetes and the onset of dementia, was suspended following an accident in the bathroom ?? an event that left her bruised, shaken and dehydrated. This event and its general condition confirmed our suspicions that she can not live alone.
Mom previously informed us that she was not averse to enter a nursing home and she intended to do when she felt the time had come. Believing that the time had arrived, we thought that it would take the decision to move respite from the full-time care.
We could not have been more wrong.
Before his six weeks of respite was, Mom said she would not be institutionalized. Instead, she asked that we take home. We could do nothing but obey his wishes.
Hiring a caregiver for mom
Before taking out respite we spring-cleaned her house and garden, filled the refrigerator and pantry and removed trip hazards we found, including a number of rugs that we have placed in the shed.
We have also made arrangements for a caregiver specialized in elderly mom to check every day and to help with all the little tasks, cleaning or grocery shopping.
This was far from the level of care she needed, but it was the best we could do under the circumstances.
in a day of being at home, Mom canceled the caregiver and put all the mats down on the floor. My sisters and I have not had a good night's sleep since.
consequences of the loss of health care
Mom is lonely, and it is based on the family to meet its needs. No matter how often call or visit him, it is never enough. She gets very upset if we take a trip away from home and are unable to visit him, as usual.
This prevents us to take some short trips, day trips and long weekends. When we take, we feel guilty to.
No matter where we are, we are concerned mom. She is stubborn and refuses to use his walking aid, despite the fact that its fragility puts her at increased risk of falling.
One of the worst things is that we can not talk about his health. As soon as we mention something she does not want, she says she does not want to talk and closes completely. Any attempt to reopen the results submitted to it becoming worse, hypotensive and sometimes nasty.
As upsetting as this is, we believe that the mother behaves this way because she knows she can not cope, but is too proud to admit it. She is fiercely independent and has no desire to be anywhere but in his own house. Unfortunately, it is his worst enemy. His refusal to accept help, ultimately, is why she can not stay there.
The disarray of the mother affects us all
Meanwhile, my sisters and I find it difficult to get on with our own lives. We phone her every other day to make sure it's OK. More often than not, our phone calls lead to feel more anxious than relieved.
I can tell something's wrong the moment I hear his voice. Usually, it is having an attack of sugar or nausea. I know it's because of her diabetes, and I tried to convince her to eat regularly. My advice falls into deaf ears.
The same can be said when I visit her. It's hard not to say something when I see the condition it is, but the hostile reaction to my comments, it is impossible for me to help.
I usually go with the upset feeling frustrated and angry about the situation and my inability to do anything about it.
My sisters are affected in exactly the same way.
Mother fears losing its independence
We are torn between our desire for mom to be happy in her own home, and our genuine concern for his health and safety. Unfortunately, the two do not come together.
We spoke to a number of health professionals about our situation and said we can not force the hand of mum. Despite the onset of dementia, it is still of sound mind and able to make decisions. If she wants to stay in her home, she has the right to do so. Refusing assistance is also their right.
This is the opinion of the health professional that mom will have to ?? failure ?? in his attempt to be independent before she can accept that this is no longer possible
love as we do, our main concern is this.? How it will fail
At best, it will be another minor accident. The worst case, it could end his life.
