Anticipatory grief is the name given to the mixture of emotions experienced when we live in expectation of a personal loss and grief because of this. Anticipatory grief is particularly relevant for those who received a medical diagnosis terminal and for the people who love and care about this person.
Unfortunately, we know that is far too common regarding mesothelioma.
A terminal diagnosis changes the very structure of our existence. It takes away our control and our ability to look forward and plan for the future.
When someone we love has a terminal illness, we become painfully aware of the fragility of life and may even fear for our own mortality.
Living in expectation of death makes us experience many symptoms and emotional pain that comes when a loved one actually dies, including:
- impact
- Anger
- Refused
- The physical and emotional pain
- impotence
- sorrow
depression is another common reaction, such as changes in eating, sleeping and bowel habits.
Prognosis Change How You Feel
Prognosis increases our turmoil. It is inevitable that we will be counting the days to the scheduled time of the disappearance and see the dawn of every day brings us closer to him.
Some may feel surreal or inability to reintegrate into the lifestyle before diagnosis. This is often reinforced by the reaction of friends and acquaintances who, while dealing with their own shock and dismay at the news and not knowing what to do or say, can save you.
Death is a natural part of life, but the truth is that to accept that it can be difficult. It may be some time before we can truly accept that our loved one is dying. During the acceptance period, we may experience alternating periods of acceptance and rejection.
Often, necessity brings acceptance for the caregiver, who needs to make decisions about the best options available for the care of their relatives.
Your ill loved, however, may choose not to accept the prognosis. It is important for the caregiver to recognize and support their need to live with the hope of remission or cure. Often, hope is also essential for the quality of life for your beloved. In fact, it can contribute to their longer survival.
What we mourn in anticipation of the death of a loved one or after the death of a loved one, there is a real need to talk to someone about the roller coaster of emotions we experience. It's not always easy to do.
Why? There are a number of reasons, which may include:
- Trying to stay strong for the patient
- Trying to stay strong for the kids
- Try put on a brave face for other family members and friends
Take Advantage of Grief counseling
Grief counseling is readily available. Enjoy. Many people are resistant to advice in the belief that no one could understand how they feel, or do anything about it.
On this I am writing from personal experience. Because the diagnosis of terminal pleural mesothelioma my husband, I first had these feelings of anticipatory grief, and it was with some trepidation that I went to my first consultation session.
After hearing my story, the counselor called further strengthen my opinion, she could not help me. I was wrong.
After a few visits, I began to see the benefits of these sessions and looked forward to seeing each week. He was with her that, for a short time at least, I could stop acting as if everything is OK, when in fact nothing was OK. He was with her that I could remove my brave face and let down my defenses.
Questions about counseling is that it can not always be available when you most need them. Schedules may conflict.
This is why I highly recommend keeping a personal journal. During the two years of terminal illness of my husband, my newspaper was definitely my strongest coping tool. I wrote in every day, often in the form of poetry, pouring my anger, my fear and heartache on pages.
Periodically, I read back over what I had written and came to know me very well. Finally, I could see my strength coming through, and it helped me to overcome my anticipatory grief
Excerpts and poems of my newspaper formed a large part of my book "Lean on Me: Cancer through the eyes of a Carer. ".
do you have a question for me? Let me know in the comments below or on Facebook.
